My Christmas Gifts to enhance the 2011 Cardinals
Since I am the CardinalsGM in the bloggosphere, I thought I would let you all in on what I gave to some of the players and management during this Christmas season. I took care in picking the right thing to give them to enhance the 2011 Cardinals in their quest for a championship.
To one of the newest member of the team, Lance Berkman, I went out and got him a contract from the Fountain of Youth Water Company. They will deliver to him H2O everyday in hopes that he reverts back to his former days of glory while a member of the Astros.
Also a new member of the team is Ryan Theriot and for him I gave him a 1 year supply of performance enhancers from GNC. This will bulk him up a bit and get some power out his position.
A lot of us have probably been told to “get thicker skin” when someone has offended us in a very disrespectful way and whoever it was that did the bad deed, they’ve decided not to apologize for it. I got some skin care products that are guaranteed to produce thicker skin for Colby Rasmus.
Left fielder Matt Holliday was next on my list. Matt has everything but he has a tendency, according to him, to get hungry while playing a game. What does he do to curb that? HE eats Barbecue Sunflower Seeds. Yep, I gave him a year’s supply of them to help him along while waiting for Rasmus to catch the next fly ball.
This is the first winter I was able to get a gift to Mark McGwire. I had to really think about how to get something that will help the team. Mark almost didn’t come back this year because he wanted to spend more time with his family. We do know that Mark did produce during the season. What he produced was triplet girls. Does Andro do that? I got Mark a laptop computer with Skype already installed so he can see and hear his family at almost all times.
Ace pitcher Adam Wainwright has to be so frustrated to finish second place in the Cy Young award. I want to make sure he has a good attitude when he takes the mound for 2011. So for Adam I purchased a replica Cy Young award for him to take on the road while he mows down the opposition.
Manager Tony LaRussa is a man that has been around the ropes for a long time. What could help a future Hall of Fame manager have a better year? Every night he is on Fox Sports Midwest after the game doing a Press Conference. Sometimes he gets irritated and then people get made at him. I bought him THIS book!
There is only one thing to get ALBERT PUJOLS. A new contract. I gave him a contract for 8 years at$30M per year along with a lifetime service contract after he is done with baseball. He will receive $5M per year for his ambassadorship with the Cardinals.
I am not going into ALL the gifts for ALL the players at this time.
Those are my Christmas gifts to enhance the 2011 Cardinals